Clip Shows

Think of your favorite TV show. Go ahead, I'll wait.

[Thinking... thinking...]

Got it? Excellent. Now think about sitting down in great anticipation to watch a new episode of that show or perhaps a randomly selected episode of that show’s syndication. You're kicked back on the couch with snacks or a meal at a ravenous hand's quick grasp, ready to consume and devour your day's troubles away for the next 30 to 60 minutes. It's just you, calories, and your seven remote controls, and, by God, all is right with the world. TV on, receiver on, sound on, brain off, and--

Wait, what's this? Is this a clip show? Are you effin' kidding me, that's what this is? A waste-of-time, buzz-killing clip show?

And then, sourness... followed by an immense sense of betrayal.

If the phrase "clip show" means nothing to you, don't feel stupid. You actually know exactly what I'm talking about. You've been duped by one before. We all have. You see, a clip show is a TV show episode where all the writers decided that another week of bong hits trumped their moral obligation to present to you, the faithful viewer, a full episode of new material. While indeed technically fulfilling their contractual agreement to produce an episode containing some new, unaired footage, it's a scathing insult to their viewership that assumes those who watch the show are so intellectually aloof that they'll have zero qualms with accepting spliced segments of already broadcasted episodes as sufficient filler for at least 80% of the "new" episode as long as surrounding these recycled one-liners and otherwise highlights is a paper-thin plot that allows for multiple, conjoined "flashbacks" sandwiched between maybe three minutes of newly shot footage.

More or less, the writers pussed out and lackadaisically served up previously seen items and called it new. It's analogous to your grade school cafeteria, when one day's "fresh casserole" looked and tasted eerily similar to several of the previous day's leftover courses, only now there are sprinkled breadcrumbs and far too much mysterious cream sauce added in.

There are really no acceptable excuses for clip shows. The writers, producers, and network would like to sell you on the idea that a clip show is "a chance to bring everyone up to speed on the show" or "a celebration of the show's greatest moments." Yeah, or we can just wait for the series to come out on DVD to relive it all on our own time.

Even if there was somehow a legitimate reason for its existence, there's absolutely no good justification for rerunning a clip show. It's a rerun of an episode of reruns. No one wants to see that crap the first time, much less regurgitated in syndication. I'd like to have the great dishonor of meeting the person who's saving space on his DVR for the rebroadcasted clip show episode of "Frasier."